A Gay Friend’s Call from God

Recently I have been particularly  interested in questions surrounding Christian faith and sexuality, specifically homosexuality. Like many I was raised in a setting where we not only condemned homosexual behavior we condemned, harassed, joked about and even persecuted anyone who we thought to be gay. As I have studied the bible, theology, church history and ethics over the past few years my own feelings have changed dramatically.

Over the past few months I have been reading, mostly through a book called Love is an Orientation by Andrew Marin, and half-heartedly praying to meet a gay Christian or gay couple (I say half-heartedly because if that prayer were to be answered who knows how it might affect my worldview.) Well, I guess even half-hearted prayers can be answered by God. Last week when I came to Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington D.C. to do a special study about the relationship between faith and politics I met Joey. As a few of us were riding back to the main campus after class when we got on the topic of gay marriage and Joey told me he was gay. We talked a bit and I could totally sense his passion for the Lord, and yes my worldview may very well be in a moment of flux… Here is a bit of Joey’s story in his own words…

Called By God – Joey Heath

To have a prophetic voice. To speak with the authority of God. To speak the truth of God. To show the love of God in everyday. These are part of who a pastor should be.

I have been learning about the reformation in my church history class and how the people hungered for the word of God. One woman stood up because she was called by God when others were not willing to stand up and speak out with a prophetic voice. This woman was a contemporary of Martin Luther named Argula von Grumbach and if you ever get the chance to read her Letter to the University of Ingolstadt I highly recommend it. In this letter she took on the corrupt Roman Catholic establishment of the time and the persecutions of the reformers and used scripture to back up everything she said. In doing so she preached the word of God. That is what I call prophetic voice. She spoke out because she felt called by God to speak out.

God calls us all to do certain things. For some it may be to be a teacher. For some it may be to practice law. For some it may be to be a stay at home parent. And for some they are called to preach and share the love of God from the pulpit on Sunday mornings and wherever else they might be throughout the week. A calling from God, particularly to be a pastor, is a high calling to follow.

I have a calling and I hope those who read these blogs or hear me speak hear the prophetic voice of God coming through. I am called to be a pastor, an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church. Sadly I am not sure I will be able to become one at least for now. You see, because of the things I write about on here and my openness about who I am and the fact that I refuse to stop trying to be a prophetic voice particularly on the issues of sexuality and gender identity my candidacy will most likely be rejected. Sadly the United Methodist Church recognizes the call of many but not all. You see if you identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual (thank God there are no rules against being transgender, though some protection would be nice) then your candidacy is in jeopardy. The United Methodist Church actually actively rejects these that are called by God. They will recognize the gifts the person has and acknowledge they would be a great pastor and then reject them based on their sexuality. How can we a church who follows God reject those called by God? If a person is called by God shouldn’t that be good enough for us to accept them?

Right now the church is losing good pastors who could have been the future leaders in the UMC. I know of several who have left the UMC for other denominations for this exact reason. They love the United Methodist Church and they feel called to be a pastor but because the UMC views them as a person of sacred worth who is unfortunately “incompatible with Christian teachings” they are rejected and in order to live out their calling they have left. Why are we letting this happen? When are we going to reject this notion that some how because someone loves a person of the same gender that they are damaged and unworthy? When are we going to stop riding the fence on this issue and speak as a church with prophetic voice claiming that all are equal and truly of sacred worth because they were created by God and called into God’s service? When will we recognize the calling that God has placed on so many of the lives of LGBTQ people?

If you would like to know more about Joey, he blogs at the Reconciling Ministries Network blog. I especially implore you to please, please, please read this post in particular to get a glimpse into Joey’s heart and mind.

For now, always remember that Love is Kind!

DC and Me 1: Introduction to NCSS

This semester I am participating in the National Capital Semester for Seminarians at Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C. The program is centered around a 4 credit hour seminar comprised of classroom learning and site visits. In the classroom we will be discussing theologies surrounding Christians in public life in general and biblical and theological sources dealing with specific political issues ranging from immigration to war. We will be visiting sites as varied as non-profit organizations, major news outlets and the White House, Capital Building and Supreme Court.

While I am here I will also be doing an internship at Sojourners, working specifically with Dr. Chuck Gutenson. Sojourners, probably best know for their magazine, has long been working for social justice in various arenas and has a fairly comprehensive list of issues in which they are currently involved. This will hopefully give me a great deal of insight about the operations of a Christian NGO working for social justice.

Finally, I will be doing an independent research project under the guidance of Dr. Shaun Casey. Dr. Casey has long been affiliated with my own denominational fellowship, and was hired by Obama as the senior advisor on religious affairs. I will most likely be investigating understandings of political engagement in the early American Restoration Movement.

I apologize that this particular post is fairly boring, but I anticipate more exciting ones in the future as I chronicle my experiences here in the nation’s capital.

(Also, I think at this point it is appropriate to note that my ramblings here do not necessarily reflect the views of any institution or organization with which I am affiliated; they are simply my attempts to process my life as I live it)

An alien and stranger in a the heart of a foreign land…

Christian Anarchy and Voting- A Recap

A lot of people have been asking me lately about my stance on voting and Christians serving in government offices. Since I have already written a good bit about my particular understanding of the Christian responsibility in political engagement I thought I would just compile all of those posts here so I can direct people to one place.

I thought I would start with this powerful song by Derek Webb.

This concise non-voting manifesto by Professor Tripp York is also a useful resource, and generally sums up my position.

I wrote a fairly popular series of posts a while back entitled Would Jesus Vote? The basic idea was to chronicle some of the reasons I believe Christians should be wary of participating in the government on any level. So here they are:  One, Two, Three and Four.

One of my ethics classes required that I write a paper about Christians and political engagement. It was one of my favorite papers of my scholastic career so I thought I would share it with you here.

The term Christian Anarchy understandably makes a lot of people uncomfortable  so I have this post trying to help people have a better understanding of the phrase. After all, as Tolstoy said, “The Kingdom of God is anarchy.”

For those of you who arent quite convinced, then at least consider this post before you vote.

I also have several posts that more indirectly get at the issues around the Christian Anarchy stance including this one on True Freedom which lists some of the most important basic understandings of being a part of God’s Kingdom. In a similar vein, this post attempts to demonstrate the radical differences between God’s Kingdom and the nations of this world.

Finally, there are some other issues such as war, abortion, immigration and poverty that play an important part in this discussion so I offer this post of some resources about these issues and this post specifically about war.

My request is that you prayerfully consider these ideas and search out God’s will in your life and in the world, and above all, declare with your life and words that Jesus is King!

A Powerful Vision

Recently I was talking to my little sister, who happens to be one of the most faithful, dedicated and wise Christian women I know, about a vision that she had a while back. I was so moved by her vision that I asked her to write it down so that I could keep it with me and share it with others. This written version is quite moving, but I wish you could all hear her share her experience personally. Maybe someday I can get a video of her sharing, but for now here is the short written version.

Pursuit of the Beloved
Sarah Bronson

I saw myself in a field covered in rags running from God. I was terrified. I knew that He had every right to kill me. My life was worth nothing and He was coming towards me. I had tried and tried to scrub myself clean, but it only revealed more dirt. I couldn’t let Him see me like this. But He was coming for me, and getting closer.

Suddenly I felt His arms around me. “NOooo! I can’t let Him touch me! He is perfect and I am unclean.” I struggled to get away. Like a little kid who knew they had done wrong, I didn’t want to face the consequences. His hold hurt as a tried to get away. The more I struggled the tighter the hold became. He wasn’t going to let me go. I stopped struggling and stood in his arms turned away from His face.
I was terrified, but the truth was punishment didn’t scare me. I knew I deserved death. But I couldn’t bear to look at His face. I wanted more than anything to please Him and to earn His love. If I turned, I knew that I would have to face the disappointment in His eyes. THAT was what I could not handle.

I stood rigid, vulnerable, and overwhelmed. His hold softened and became warm and gentle. He whispered into my ear, “I love you. Please, turn around.” I didn’t understand. How could that be? He had no reason to love me. I was uncertain and couldn’t turn around. He continued “I love you. Turn and see…I love you turn and see…” Could it be?

Trembling I turned my head towards Him, eyes closed. “Open your eyes, beloved”, He whispered softly. Slowly I opened them to see a face filled with light and life and more love than I ever could have imagined. I was transfixed by His face. I don’t know how long I stood there amazed but when I looked down at myself I was CLEAN!!! I was seeing myself through His eyes. I began to walk with him. When I strayed I saw myself dirty again, but He would always call me back.
On the walk we came across many people. He would wrap His arms around them as He had done for me. They were all afraid. I would try to encourage them and tell them my story. It was an amazing experience when they finally turned and saw themselves in God’s light. They really came to life! We rejoiced together.

But others we came across would not make that choice. He held them the same as He had held us. I saw the love in His eyes as he spoke to them. He longed for their hearts to be whole. They refused to turn, refused to believe. I don’t remember any specific point that He released His hold, but He when did, they ran into the wilderness, into the darkness, into death. I saw Him crumple to the ground weeping at the beloved He had lost.

Reflections on “In The Name of Jesus”

This is a short reflection on insights I took from Henri Nouwen’s brief yet brilliant book, In The Name of Jesus.  Its not a review, so if some of it doesnt seem to connect, or even if it does connect, I recommend you read the meditation on servant leadership.

Nouwen’s opening  section, after the introduction, is particularly valuable to me because I have long been struggling with the need to be relevant in my own life and ministry. Like Nouwen I am caught up in the lie that “I” have something to offer; I mean who really gives a damn if I have some higher level degrees, or preach at congregations around the world or have an above average IQ? No one cares about that, they care about being loved so that they can open themselves up to be loving. Like Nouwen, I have found that this is most apparent when I am with the poor in Spirit; when I am sitting the park with my homeless friends, or hanging out with inner city kids. I am drawn to the truth in Nouwen’s words, “These broken, wounded, and completely unpretentious people forced me to let go of my relevant self – the self that can do things, show things, prove things, build things – and forced me to reclaim the unadorned self in which I am completely vulnerable, open to receive and give love regardless of any accomplishments.” (28) I said that “I” have nothing to offer, but perhaps it is exactly “I” or grammatically correct, me, that I must offer in all vulnerability as Jesus did. As Nouwen astutely points out, this can only happen when I have “an ardent desire to dwell in God’s presence, to listen to God’s voice, to look at God’s beauty, to touch God’s incarnate Word, and to take fully God’s infinite goodness.”(43)

Another insight that Nouwen offers throughout the book, especially in the beginning of the second section, is that when one is willing to move from Harvard to L’Arche, suburbs to inner city or from heaven to earth then one must face the pain of loss, maybe of death, to gain the reward of renewal and resurrection. I hate pain, but I love gain. This is a terrible condition to have if one wants to be like Jesus, yet it is this reticence in the face of potential suffering coupled with my prevailing desire to be noteworthy that I have found to be at the very core of my own being. Again Nouwen expresses my sentiments in a much more poetic and brilliant way, “I came to see that I had lived most of my life as a tightrope artist trying to walk on high, thin cable from one tower to the other, always waiting for the applause when I had not fallen off and broken my leg.”(53) I want the applause, I crave it, but I will avoid the fall at nearly any cost.

Nouwen says, “The way of the Christian leader is not the way of upward mobility in which our world has invested so much, but the way of downward mobility ending at the cross.”(81-82) In reply, out of my own frustration I say “dammit.” Like a child I whine, “I don’t want to” or “you can’t make me.” Though I know he is absolutely right in this assessment, and some part of me wants to cheer for this truth; I can’t help but wonder just how much ‘everything’ Christ really means I need to give up to follow him. I am learning that a life of simplicity in the Western world in which I find myself may only be possible as a result of miraculous divine intervention. I struggle more because Nouwen suggests that deep theological reflection is the key to living such a life, but he goes on to say that seminaries and divinity schools should be the primary place where this takes place. To me that seems somewhat contradictory, because most seminaries only take the best and the brightest, and those that have enough money for an education. How does this in any way look downwardly mobile? Yet, this is exactly where I find myself as I try to know God more; as I try to understand Christ and his cross and what it means to take up my own and follow him.

I am at a bit of an impasse as I consider how I may keep these insights in front of me, because there is some way in which they are all already in my heart, yet there is another sense in which I am well aware that my life will often crowd them out. I believe that Nouwen’s insights came from a life, as he suggests, of prayer, theological reflection, and service. This leads me to believe that I must dedicate my life to these very practices in order to keep them in front of me. The only way to keep these truths present in my life is to live them, but the irony is that it is living that usually pushes them away. May God have mercy on me!

I dont recommend too many books these days, perhaps because I read so many that they get all jumbled together, but I implore you to pick up this short yet extremely moving book. Nouwen’s words have blessed me and I trust they will bless you too.

Poverty and Advent

Its rare for me to hear a new Christian song these days that really hits me right in the gut, but today in Chapel I was introduced to just such a song. The service was focusing on the eschatological hope that we have in the birth of Jesus and his  return, and the lives we should live as a result. This song, by Jason Upton, closed out the service.

There’s a power in poverty that breaks principalities
And brings the authority’s down to their knees
There’s a brewing frustration and ageless temptation
To fight for control by some manipulation

But the God of the kingdoms and the God of the Nations
The God of creation sends his revelation
Thru the homeless and penniless Jesus the son
The poor will inherit the Kingdom to come

Where will we turn when our world falls apart
And all of the treasures we’ve stored in our barns
Can’t buy the Kingdom of God?

Who will we praise when we’ve praised all our lives
men who build Kingdoms and men who build fame but heaven does not know their names

What will we fear when all that remains
Is God on His throne, with a child in his arms,
and love in his eyes
And the sound of his heart cries

You should have heard my buddy Drew sing it as well. It echoed through the chapel and straight into the hearts of my fellow journeyers and I.

Human Trafficking Conference- NFS Video

This very short video, from last weeks Forum On Human Trafficking, powerfully conveys the message that slavery and human trafficking are a grave reality in our world, even this very day. Watch it, then check out my previous post to see what you can do about it.

Human Trafficking Conference- Helpful Links

So far today the most useful presentation was about monitoring supply changes. It was especially helpful because several organizations’ websites were given out, from groups that advocate on behalf of the poor to consumer watchdog groups to grass roots movements.

Here are the links and a brief description about each. I hope you find these to be informative and inspiring. This an issue that the church must find itself combating as a part of our witness as Jesus, the One who befriended the lowest of the low.

The International Labor Rights Forum is a nonprofit advocacy organization dedicated to achieving just and humane treatment for workers worldwide. They also provide information about the labor practices of various companies and even information about labor laws around the world.

The Interfaith Center on Corporate Responsibility seeks to encourage businesses to act in a socially responsible way.

MADE-BY is an independent consumer label for fashion companies who continuously improve and are transparent about the social, economic and ecological conditions throughout the whole supply chain of their collections.

The Not For Sale Campaign equips and mobilizes Smart Activists to deploy innovative solutions to re-abolish slavery in their own backyards and across the globe.

International Justice Mission is a human rights agency that secures justice for victims of slavery, sexual exploitation and other forms of violent oppression.

Proxy Democracy is an organization that helps investors find companies that have ethical practices and connect to other investors to work synergistically to open information streams and encourage corporations to be ethical.

The Story of Stuff creatively chronicles the underside of our production and consumption patterns, and exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It’ll teach you something, it’ll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever.

Free 2 Work provides a databaseof companies from around the world so you can independently search, report, and verify known labor practices. This one may be particularly helpful as we try to decide what products to buy.

Responsible Shopper reports on global research and campaign information regarding the impact of major corporations on human rights, social justice, environmental sustainability and more.

The Good Guide provides the world’s largest and most reliable source of information on the health, environmental, and social impacts of the products in your home. This means you can find out if your products were made by forced labor or with environmentally harmful materials and processes.

The Trade Observatory works with organizations around the world to analyze how global trade agreements impact domestic farm and food policies. Alongside a global coalition, and advocates for fair trade policies that promote strong health standards, labor and human rights, the environment and, most fundamentally, democratic institutions.

Earth Rights International combats human rights violations through advocation, organization, education and litigation.

Chain Store Reaction provides information about tons of brands and provides an easy opportunity to contact these companies to encourage them to investigate and end slavery in their supply chains.

I believe that when Jesus said he came to set the captives free that he didnt just free their souls for heaven, he showed with his life that he came to set people free from the slavery of poverty and greed and abuse and oppression as well. Join the Carpenter from Nazareth and take part in freeing slaves and acting in a restorative and redemptive way in this world. No more excuses!!!

Human Trafficking Conference- Day One

We arrived at the church and I confess I am already frustrated. This place is a mall, only nicer. I wonder how much money was spent on the fancy decorations and lighting and sound equipment. I also noticed that over 90% of the people here are white, probably middle or upper middle class, attractive,  wearing plastered on smiles. I too am these things, perhaps sans the attractiveness and permanent smile. Where are the blacks, the Asians, the natives and the Hispanics? Where are the poor? Where are the oppressed, impoverished? People are dressed in outfits that are worth more than my car. Is it all a façade? Is it a way to make ourselves feel good about our convictions and conscience? Are we just trying to create meaning in a world that often seems so meaningless? I am guilty too. Lots of words, and anger and guilt for the injustice around me, but very little action, maybe even less serious prayer. How do the wealthy, educated, affluent and powerful combat widespread systemic injustices? Do we meet in million dollar church buildings patting each other on the back and raising awareness or is there something more to this? How do we speak truth to power when we are the powerful?

On another note, this morning we met and had a formation in common session with just our group. We started with 15 minutes of silence, which was uncomfortable yet peaceful. The we read together from the Asbury reader and discussed, Lectio Divina style, what the text was speaking to us. Mostly I took away that I need to just rest in the peace of God’s presence and the joy of his salvation, but now I am struggling with how that is tempered with God’s lament over our condition, especially our unawareness of the fetters of wealth, comfort, self-righteousness and homogeneity that bind our souls and keep them from soaring. I want to live and work with joy and peace, but I also want to feel the sense of outrage that I believe God feels when he sees a bunch of rich white folks bantering about changing the world in our million dollar facilities when our battle should be more in the trenches.

God, I am sorry if I am being judgemental. I am simply trying to express what I see and feel. Help me love church folks. Help me love myself. Help me love in a way that I see the image of God in those who trying so hard to create it in themselves. Help me love myself. Help me love those who only fight injustice from the safety of their pew and the comfort of being a safe distance from the bleeding hands and feet and human slaves. Help me love myself. Help me love those who shed rivers of tears on behalf of the oppressed but never shed any blood. Help me love myself. Help me love the readers and speakers, those full of knowledge and vision but lacking in practice and lifestyles of redemptive suffering and love. Help me love myself. Help me love, Lord, help me love.

As I hear the speakers give their various spiels I am much more encouraged, but still skeptical about what each of us does when we leave this place. I love the creative ideas been tossed about and the deep concern on behalf of the presenters. I am impressed with the fact that more people than I would have imagined are actually getting their hands dirty. However, I am wary about the ideas being put forth that we msut somehow depend on law or government to end these atrocities. This simply isn’t true. I don’t think it comes down to prosecutions or threats or coercion. The change we seek can only come through changed lives and hearts. I don’t think it’s the governments job, its our job to see this through. We arent ultimately aiming to end slavery, we are seeking to particpate in and promote the new humanity of God’s kingdom. Prosecution isn’t the answer. Love is.

Some of the quotes that stuck out to me are

“People are willing to leave their theology at the door to come together and combat this issue.” We cannot and must not leave our theology at the door because it informs our actions.

“We should aim to make these grass roots movements a part of the establishment.” Really?!?!

I know some of these thoughts may be a bit disjointed, but there is so much information being thrown at us and I havent had much time to process and reflect on most of it. Look for more to come.

Human Trafficking Conference- Travel

I was given the chance to travel with a group from Asbury to the Global Conference on Human Trafficking in Carlsbad, California. Here are some of my thoughts from the trip to California. There will be more thoughts and reflections from the conference from myself and others in our group.

As we are flying to a conference on one of the great atrocities of our day, of any day, I cant help but wonder how my own lust, addictions, indulgences and apathy have contributed to the brokenness of this world where people think it is ok to own another human being for their own pleasure. How has my falleness rippled out in both the physical and spiritual realms, empowering the evil one and his minions while galvanizing the chains that hold his enemies, oppressed and oppressors, in bondage? Or do I give my own wretched, sinful existence too much credit? Are my contributions of deadly desires and limitless complacency enough to give an ounce of power to the dammed deceiver? If so, are the rare moments of surrender to God in me really destroying the wicked systems of the world by bearing witness to the true reality of God’s Kingdom?

It is my deepest hope, or at least my best hope, that somehow, someday I will live and act and speak like Jesus. My own damn vanity and pride, my indifference for the situations of others and my longing for momentary acceptance and my fear of both success and failure all act as the brick and mortar that imprison me. But, it is the destructive grace of God on which I depend, to keep razing the fortress in which I have held myself captive. I know that he will, his Kingdom will, destroy hell’s gates and let all of those who dare escape run free. It is this trust, that if God’s power can level gates of pure evil, He can and will overwhelm my pride and all of my best and worst intentions.

Random Thoughts

In recent times I havent felt inclined to blog. I have however been writing a great deal, as any of you other graduate students will understand. I have also been in a much more contemplative mood lately, reading and resting more than preaching, teaching and blogging. Here are some thoughts that I have had recently. Most of them are about various social ethics topics since that is where I spend most of my intellectual time. I must confess however that I dont intend to substantiate any of them at this time, nor am I completely convinced that they are all true, they are simply things that have come to my mind and most of them are things that I would like to research more. Here ya go…

“Wonders why it is ok to kill in war to stop people from committing evil acts but it is considered a terrible thing to kill an abortion doctor to prevent him from killing innocent babies? Is this a double standard? Do we really believe the unborn are truly living?” I of course dont advocate either, I am just trying to understand pro-war and pro-life logic.

“If folks think that gay marriage should be outlawed because it is an immoral choice, then so should athiesm, based on that logic. Also, those who are insulted that the gay rights movement is being compared to the civil  rights movement because there “are ex-gays, and no ex-blacks” they should think about the american revolution that was about being ex-british, or the protestant reform as being ex-catholics. People simply want their freedom and their rights. In that regard these movements are all the same.”

“Any ethic that sees violence as an option is necessarily an ethic that rejects the teaching and example of Jesus. If we use violence we in essence decalre that what Jesus said and did to combat evil in the world can now be put aside for a more “effective” way of delaing with things here and now. This  ethic of accepting viloence seems so right because we can see tangible results quickly, but it is never faithful to the one who promises that vengance and protection are his alone.”

“We need to deal with abortion in a way that is redemptive to both mother and child. Law does not do this. It may save the life of the child, but will often push the mother away from the church and she may take her child with her. If we use the power of law instead of the better power of relationship to save the child, then we take the chance that we only save the child’s physical life while we lose the soul of both mother and child.”

“Omnipotence means God can do whatever He damn well pleases and that there is no power outside of God that can compel him to act or limit him. He is completely free, even free from the need to choose; He simply acts out of his intrinsic character. His Character is good, love, and holiness, and it is his perogative to act unconditionally upon each of these. Truly omnipotence is in the service of His love. Omnipotence is the power of Love!”

“I love communion because it is at the table that revelation happens, we invite Jesus in but he becomes the host.”

“Love not holiness is God’s primary attribute from which all the others flow.”

These are some words that describe where I am at in my Christian faith journey. “Post-liberal, Open Theist, Anabaptist, Restorationist, Anarchist, Pacifist, Existentialist, Inclusivist, Christus Victor & Substitution Theorist,  Trinitarian, Evangelical, Eccumenical, Emerging, Orthodox, Biblical, Charismatic, Missional, Green, Arminain, Amillineal.”

“I am more convinced than ever that we need to bless women to become preachers and teachers in the church… It is right and good for us to encourage our sisters in using their gifts to prophesy, preach, teach and lead.”

“If Calvin’s understanding of double predestination is true, then it seems that God is a racist.”

“God has no cause and is infinitely and simply one. He is therefore fully involved in all of his actions. Even so, God is infinite unlike anything else and likewise without any measurement, too big for all the heavens to contain, yet able to enter our realm even in flesh. He He in contrast to other gods, is alive, the ultimate reality of life itself and the One who is active among all creation.”

“The church should refuse to let anyone else feed our hungry or clothe our naked.”

“Community is messy business, but like a Jackson Pollock painting, there is beauty in the mess.”

Again I dont intend to try an substantiate any of these right now, but I am working on papers dealing with a few of these statements. If you have a comment or complaint feel free to express it. Now for me its back to the grind of papers and projects.

Nonviolence in the Face of Rape: Possible?

When folks find out that I am a pacifist it is virtually inevitable that they will ask me this hypothetical question: “What if someone broke into your house and tried to rape your wife, how could you not get violent then?” I admit that I have struggled with this question and others like it. The realization that difficult situations like this so often move beyond the realm of hypothetical into the realm of reality for so many people makes me regularly revisit my pacifist views with new suspicions. Nonetheless, I keep coming back to the person and teachings of Jesus and hearing his call to nonviolent, redeeming love. Here is one way that this very difficult scenario may play out, and this story is not merely notional, it is the real life experience of a woman who demonstrated the non-violent and redemptive love of Jesus while protecting her chastity.

Rather than destruction of enemies, the Christian ethic calls for their conversion and counts on enough love on my part to facilitate the process….

I was awakened late one night several years ago by a man kicking open the door to my bedroom. The house was empty. The phone was downstairs. He was somewhat verbally abusive as he walked over to my bed. I could not find his eyes in the darkness but could see the outline of his form. As I lay there, felling a fear and vulnerability I had never before experienced, several thoughts ran through my head – all in a matter of seconds. The first was the uselessness of screaming. The second was the fallacy of having a gun hidden under your pillow. Somehow I could not imagine this man standing patiently while I reached under my pillow for my gun. the third thought, I believe, saved my life. I realized with a certain clarity that either he and I made it through this situation safely – together- or we would both be damaged. Our safety was connected. If he raped me he would be hurt as well. If he went to prison, the damage would be greater. That thought disarmed me. It freed me from my own desire to lash out and at the same time from my paralysis. It did not free me from the feelings of fear but from fear’s control over my ability to respond. I found myself acting out of concern for both my own safety which caused me to react with a certain firmness but with surprisingly little hostility in my voice.

I asked him what time it was. He answered. That was a good sign. I commented that his watch and the clock on my night table had differnt times. His said 2:30, mine said 2:45. I had just set mine. I hope his watch wasn’t broken. When the atmosphere began to calm a little I asked him how he had gotten into the house. He’d broken through the glass in the back door. I told him that presented me with a problem as I did not have the money to buy new glass. He talked about some financial difficlties of his own. We talked until we were no longer strangers and I felt it was safe to ask him to leave. He didn’t want to; said he had no place to go. Knowing I did not have the physical power to force him out I told him firmly but respectfully, as equal to equal, I would give him a clean set of sheets but he would have to make his own bed downstairs. He went downstairs and I sat up in bed, wide awake and shaking for the rest of the night. The next morning we ate breakfast together and he left.

Several things happened that night. I allowed someone who I was afraid of to become human to me and as a result I reacted in a surprisingly human way to him. That caught him off guard. Apparently his scenario had not included a social sense of balance. By that time the vibes were all wrong for violence. Whatever had been motivating him was sidetracked and he changed his mind.

Through the effects of prayer, meditation, training and the experience of lesser kinds of assault, I had been able to allow what I call a context for conversion to emerge.*

This is just one story of many in which non-violent love set both the potential victim and assailant free and allowed them to find more of their humanity. I especially love the line “the vibes were all wrong for violence.” Isn’t this at least part of our call, to engender a world, where the kingship of Jesus can change the vibes making them all wrong for violence and all right for justice and peace? I believe it is, and I know that it may not always work and will often be costly and dangerous, but I also know that because of the resurrection of Christ it is both imperative and worthwhile.

*Originally from Angie O’Gorman, “Defense Through Disarmament: Nonviolence and Personal Assault,” The Universe Bends Toward Justice, ed. Angie O’Gorman, (Philadelphia, Pa.: New Society Publishers, 1990). Found in From Christ to the World: Introductory Readings in Christian Ethics, edited by Wayne G. Boulton, Thomas D. Kennedy, and Allen Verhey.